Speaking English with your children at home

A woman told us she had stopped speaking English at home because her nine-year-old corrected her grammar in front of guests.

This comes up more than you would expect, and it deserves an honest answer.

Your child will be better than you. That's the point.

She has English all day at school, in a way you did not. If she overtakes you, the thing you wanted has happened.

The discomfort is real, but it is worth reframing: you are not competing. You are the reason she is ahead.

Make her the teacher for ten minutes

Rather than fighting the correction, formalise it. Ten minutes a day where she is allowed to correct you and you are allowed to ask her questions.

Two things happen. Your English improves, because a nine-year-old will correct you more honestly than any adult. And she learns the material properly, because teaching something is how you find out whether you know it.

It also converts an embarrassment into a game you both agreed to.

Pick fixed moments, not "all the time"

"We will speak only English at home" fails within four days. It removes the language you actually run your household in.

Pick two moments instead:

• The walk to school, or the drive
• Dinner, or the fifteen minutes before bed

Small and repeatable beats total and abandoned.

Talk about the day, not about English

Do not quiz her. Do not do drills. Ask what happened at school, what was funny, who she sat with. The point is that you are both using English on something you genuinely care about.

Let her hear you get it wrong

This is the most valuable thing you can do, and the hardest.

A child who watches her mother speak imperfect English confidently learns that mistakes are survivable. A child who watches her mother avoid English learns that being wrong is shameful — and that lesson lasts much longer than any vocabulary.

When she corrects you in front of people

Agree a rule in advance: corrections happen at home, not in front of guests. Children accept this easily when it's a rule rather than a reaction.

And if you're just starting

You do not need good English for any of this. What did you eat? Who did you play with? Show me your book. That is enough to start, and it is more than many children get.